What every parent should know about food

Andrew, a good friend of mine has posted some videos where he shares his knowledge about the foods we consume. Why don't we enjoy eating healthy foods? How does our body process these types of foods? What should we be eating and why? He does an awesome job at explaining the answers to these questions in an easy to understand and uncomplicated way. Perfect for MM's inquisitive and growing mind and a reminder to me the importance of what I choose to feed the MMs the next time I reach for crackers or cereal, even the 'healthy' and organic types, at snack time.







Check out the rest of his videos here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/RigorFitness

Thanks for sharing Andrew!

Coin Sorting

The MMs have taken an interest in the stash of coins we have so I washed them and we did a fun little activity together. Usually we do activities separately since it can get a little complicated (at this age) with both of them, but this one worked out pretty well!

To see how many coins I needed, I filled a small piggy bank with $5 and $10 coins until the piggy bank was full. (This way the kids learn the concept of empty and full at the same time). Then I added a few of the smaller coins (obviously not recommended if your MM is still in the habit of putting things into their mouths).



I then give MM the instructions to sort out the $10 coins for himself and to pass the $5 coins to MMM whose task is to put the $5 coins into the piggy bank first. This is a challenging task for MMM so it takes him a while which gives MM time to sort.





I don't mention anything about the $2 coins or smaller change. The purpose is for MM to sort through the coins and when he comes across something that is neither a $5 or $10 coin, he needs to problem solve, ask what it is and figure out what to do with it. In this case, "pass it to mommy".

(For the first few times, I didn't include $1 coins as they look very similar to the $5 coin but once he got the activity down, we added the $1 coin as an additional challenge.)



Once the coins are sorted, we wait for MMM to finish inserting the coins into the piggy bank and then it's MM's turn. Once he gets to the last coin, it just fits and he is able to see that it's full. At this point the activity is over or they can do it again. We did it 3 or 4 times. Haha I think it's because we used real money instead of something for kids : )

Happy sorting!

MMM's Bookshelf - 1

Up until recently MMM has showed no interest in books or being read to, he would rather launch them off the sofa and throw them down the hall. Haha he's very physical. We received this book for Christmas from E's family and low and behold, he's been loving books ever since! I read somewhere that kids just need that one thing to open them up to learning and for MMM this was it! I don't know if it's the cute illustrations of babies hiding behind things but he absolutely loves it and will laugh, giggle, and squeal in delight. That makes me a happy Mommy :)


This is a simple story about bugs that are not scary, haha except for the HUGE black spider at the end!! The boys love this one!


Find the chicks!

MM - Tell a story

If you know our MM, you'll know he's really into books, no really, he's REALLY into books. He will basically request that you read to him until you're mouth is dry and your throat is hoarse. (It's strange how he can sit completely still for 2.5hrs+ while reading but any other time he is literally bouncing off the walls.) Needless to say, we read a lot in our household but there are days when I will outright refuse to read. Yeah I know, bad mommy...well, you're welcome to come over and read to him LOL. Anyway, so to deal with this phase before he starts reading on his own, we recently started a new activity we call Tell a Story. We start by asking MM to look at a picture he's never seen before and tell us a story. It's pretty entertaining for me to hear the thoughts in his head and he loves to hear his own story read back to him. I write down what he says (without corrections) and then read it back to him after he says "The End!"

A Mouse! The sister and the boy chasing the dog. The trees are green The hat float in the wind. Whose eyes? Maybe it's a frog? Maybe it's a mole? And maybe it's a tiger! Maybe it's a dog and maybe it's a frog! Maybe it's a snail or ladybug! The End

I'm using Spectrum Beginning Reading (Little Critter Workbooks).

MilkMonster Music - 1

I first discovered Super Simple Songs on Youtube when I was searching for some educational song videos for MM to watch and we loved it so much I decided to buy the Cd set. The simple yet catchy tunes are fun to listen to (even for adults) and I love how it encourages the MMs to really listen to the words and follow the actions which are incorporated really well into the song so it's like an activity/game. The Cds are about 1hr long and have a combination of sing along and follow the instructions, participative type songs that end in a quiet lullaby which winds the boys down straight into quiet time. MMM will take his nap while MM will sit down on the sofa an do an independent quiet activity. We have a no talking rule during this time - my favourite time of the day : )

I love that we have a terrace and I don't have to stress out about the mess of spilled paint. This makes MMM very happy as well : )

MMM - Sorting utensils

For this activity we need: 2 containers and a bunch of coloured utensils.


For beginners, I start by asking MMM to transfer from one jar to the next. (If you choose a jar with a smaller opening, this can be made a more challenging activity, and easier with a wider opening.) I'm in the process of teaching him his colours so I tell him what each one is as he transfers them to the other jar. Then we start over, this time I ask him to transfer a specific item, i.e. "the orange fork".






For MMM I have found that if I have all forks and just one spoon, which he finds at the end, this makes him really happy/excited : )

MM's Bookshelf - 1

MM and I love this story about a little boy and his favourite blanket, which he is told by his mother to throw away as it's all worn out. Instead the boy takes the blanket to his grandfather who makes something new out of the old worn blanket.



This one is a classic and a MM favourite! We read this one weekly and often refer to it when MM wants to quit walking up the hill, riding his bike, or finishing an activity. He likes to pretend he's the little engine that could.




Did you know the male seahorse is the one to give birth? This book tells the story of male fish species who take care of their babies instead of the mother. It's a refreshing read and you get to learn new fishes too!



A fun tale about Harry the dog who receives a sweater he doesn't like and tries his best to lose it only to find out that grandma is coming to visit and can't wait to see him in the sweater she gave him! We find out how something that's not right for one person can be perfect for someone else! Since the book doesn't cover the issue of gratitude, we talk a little about the idea of 'its the thought that counts' and how important it is to say 'thank you' when we receive something.

Paper Cutting - Fine Motor Skills

I picked up this book while we were in Toronto over the holidays as cutting construction paper just wasn't fun enough for MM. He oftentimes will give up if the activity seems pointless (hope he didn't get that from me...) or it's too difficult. This book has some pretty fun activities, MM's favourite - as in I think he could do this one over and over again is the one where you cut up pieces of a train, then stick them together to make a really long train. It's too bad there is only one in this book. We unfortunately don't have a photocopier in our house but if we did, I would have made a few copies so he could do it a few times and let MM colour them.







Here's how we do it:

Cut, cut, cut and then clean up the mess you make. Big pieces (those larger than the palm of your hand) need to go into the garbage. Smaller pieces can be vacuumed up. If you try to vacuum up the large pieces, the vacuum will get stuck (demonstrate using a large ball).

This is an independent activity with supervision that teaches responsibility for cleaning up after yourself, comparative sizes, in addition to how to use a pair of scissors and help your mother vacuum : )

Where have we been?

So since my last post about being depressed and not loving my life as a child focused mommy we've made huge changes to our lives as a family and so far, things are looking good.

Here's what we've been up to:

1) We spent 3 weeks in Toronto visiting the grandparents and me getting a much needed break to just sit around the house and do nothing except stare at the trees while the grandparents got to be real grandparents without me hovering, instructing, and making all the rules.

2) We moved as soon as we came back to HK. We used to live in a tiny Chinese walk-up apartment in the middle of the city that I struggled daily to carry 2 kids, stroller, and bag up and down those stairs. We decided it was time to make the move and now we're still in a small place BUT, we're just 2 minutes from the beach and have a roof top terrace that is the same size as our place.

3) I took a break from writing this blog. Part of the reason was to eliminate my to-do list and any obligations that I could so I could make some real time for myself. The other reason was so Hubby and I could spend more time together. I realized that after a long day of kids, what I thought was relaxing by sitting in front of the computer, actually made me feel tired and grouchy. Instead, after the kids are in bed now, I will walk the dogs, do my nails and feet, read, do a face mask, TALK to hubby, anything that would normally get put off because I am in front of the computer. It has made a world of difference.

4) Computer time is now limited to the 2hrs during the day while the kids are napping.

5) We started homeschooling. Yep, MM is now 2yrs and 5mths and we will not be putting him into pre-nursersy, nursery, pre-school, etc. Instead, we are following a combination of the Sonlight Curriculum and other free online activities, which really is just reading, drawing, and playing for the next year, and we will be traveling together as a family. Whereas before, I would spend most of my day trying to stop MM from doing something I didn't want him doing - like making a mess. We now have a family routine that goes something like this:

8am Wake up and have breakfast
830am MM and dad walk the dogs
10am MMM naps while MM and I have "school time"
12pm Lunch
1pm MM has his nap
130pm MMM Lunch
3pm Afternoon outing or activity
5pm Dinner
630pm Bed

The time and attention MM gets from me and his dad every morning means he's not roaming around home looking for something to do or whining "mommy mommy" all day because he wants attention. He knows what is going to happen next and what he's supposed to be doing. I feel like a more functional parent and MM is actually really enjoying his home "school".

6) We've just returned from a family-friends trip to Singapore. Together with 4 families, we ate all our meals, explored the city of Singapore, shared our tantruming toddler moments and snippy spousal moments, laughed and played together for 4 days. It was so much fun. (It wasn't our first family-friends trip, we first went to Kota Kinabalu together a while back but I didn't get a chance to write about it back then.) It is so nice to be able to see and share how you parent and deal with life with kids together as a group that I seriously would consider living on a compound. Meeting up for breakfast every morning was definitely my favourite part of the day, that and being able to role my eyes at another parent when my MMs were acting up. Haha it is always nice to have what you say reinforced by someone else. "Listen to your mother MM."

So that about covers the past 2 months. Am I back to blogging? I'm not really sure. Part of me really wants to share and document our homeschooling and travel journey but at this moment I am not committing to anything except spending more quality time with my kids and husband.

My whole life doesn't have to revolve around my kids, and that doesn't make make me a bad mom

My GP, well she's not really my GP as I never used to go to see a doctor on a regular basis, or even if I was sick for that matter, until I became pregnant and needed to go every 3 weeks, but back to my point. My GP, she thinks I should be on antidepressants. Hubby made an appointment for me and I went and spilled my guts to a woman in a possible DVF dress and what could have been Giuseppe Zanotti shoes - I should know since I used to be in the fashion/shoe business, but sadly no, I don't know anymore which may just be the problem. I'll come back to this point later. She looked fantastic, hair done and nails manicured, in contrast, I was in flip flops, track pants, my hair in a pony-tail, and goober on my T-shirt. I didn't feel good enough to be there. Since when do you need to get "dressed" to see the doctor? Anyway...She sat there and asked questions, I sat there with my hands on my knees and told the truth. Yes, I feel tired some days. Yes, I have trouble sleeping and often am up into the wee hours of the night blogging or editing photos and reading. Yes, I am anxious about simple tasks and overwhelmed and underwhelmed with life, and that yes, on some days I like to entertain the idea of life without me in it. Obviously this day wasn't one of the bad days otherwise I wouldn't have even made it to the appointment in the first place. If you see me, then I am ok. Its a good day. I tried to explain that, that on most days I function, I'm happy, I can hack being a mom but on those dark days I feel overwhelmed that life has been a little more than tough and that even though the good days out number the bad ones, I was here because the bad days scare me and I feel like they are creeping up more often and THAT is the problem. Could it be Depo-provera? Is that why I am snippy and mean? or if we're being completely honest, a complete bitch? I mentioned too that I didn't have helper, her response, "why wouldn't you have a helper?!" and truthfully I said "because I am a control freak". She laughed. I did $6000hkd worth of blood tests and found it humourous that even before I get my results on Thursday, that I could take home a low dose of pills to "make me feel better".

I thought about you moms and I declined the pills.

So many of you wrote and spoke to me and I cannot tell you how sincerely grateful I am. Instead of "hope you feel better" and "things will get better", instead you shared parts of your life with me, dark and ugly parts, that you feel the same, that life everyday is a struggle at times, that being a mother is overwhelming and frustrating, that you too feel vulnerable and insecure, that pressure to be competent beyond what is possible for the moment is tiring and that things are not so cheery with your hubbys either. You miss your old selves, work, and friends, and I cried tears of relief and sadness, how is it that so many moms out there are feeling this way?

I am struggling to figure out what is reality here, is having a few bad days a week and some marital strife part and parcel of being a parent? Life with kids is hard. plain and simple. This is just how it is. Or should life be a constant state of satisfaction with moments of hardship, frustration, and sadness few and far between? I really don't know. Between my upbringing in a dysfunctional household and Hubby's always happy and functioning family, we are somewhere in the vast between. I know that my expectation of what life, marriage and kids was supposed to be is very very different from what it is - in both good and not so good ways. Maybe I'm depressed because I keep thinking it's supposed to be this one way and I'm let down. A friend of mine said "You need to change the way you think, to change the way you feel." She also told me that she doesn't feel she has what it takes to change who she is. It's just too hard.

Another mom said that we (as in the depressed moms) feel this way because we used to be women with "important" careers. We were make-it-happen-people and the reality of being a mom is that some days, you just can't make anything happen...but no one tells you that, that doesn't make you a failure!! Its frustrating and a tough pill to swallow if you're used to getting things accomplished, checking off the task list, making things work and look good kind of a person. I definitely miss the power. I miss the feelings of satisfaction and self-fulfillment, the "you did it!" of the working world. I mean with kids, taking credit for who they are is not only viewed as selfish and uncouth, good moms just don't do that sort of thing. But I mean I was the one to teach him to say "I'm 2 years old" so would it be that terrible for me to expect praise and a pat on the back whenever he says it? Or for each time he puts his toys back into the cubby without prompting, or can count to 13, or for successfully making it through another day for that matter?...ahem I've digressed. But my point is, being faced with constant judgment and little praise would make even the most normal of people (with or without kids) a little gloomy.

Here in Hong Kong, having a helper is the norm. If you don't have one, you're crazy, completely nuts and people "don't know how you do it!" but there is little support or understanding for moms without help. When you're having a bad day and someone says, 'why don't you hire help?" it discounts your feelings. It's as if getting helper would be a fix all and it's not. Yes, it may make some difficult moments easier, I think on a daily basis I am faced with the reality that having another set of hands would make life easier, but those extra set of hands come with their own set of challenges and complications. I feel like there is more support for moms with helper problems than there is for moms with no help...please correct me if I'm wrong about this. Regardless of whether you have help, bad days are bad days. The crying, the whining, the "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" and "MM needs" this and that, the tantrums, the time outs, the mess...it just all sucks and we should be able to say it without feeling like we're not good enough.

So I've decided to just be honest and live with my feelings. I am writing about my depression because I have felt so completely alone and no one should feel like that. There are moments when I am frustrated and short tempered and I yell at my MM. I sometimes swear in his presence (not at him, but I swear), I will let him watch TV, sometimes for hours. I have some really bad days when I am tired of being a mom and want to do something else, where I decline to sing and play and am just me and listen to the music that I want to listen to and insist on finishing whatever I am doing before attending to my MMs' whines. I hate that it takes me 2 hours to get out of the house and the snails pace at which I need to navigate with MMs and yes, I miss the old me. I used to be this person who wore really great shoes, made business deals, and spent time with friends. I've given all that up because I want to spend time with my kids but I've been getting it all wrong. Spending time with your kids doesn't mean losing yourself, rule number 1 in all relationships. I just love them so much. It's so hard not to get caught up in the feelings of guilt, love, obsession, frustration. When asked what I do, I used to say "I design and manufacture shoes" now I struggle with who I am and what I do, and who I am when I'm not doing what I do. Maybe depro-provera is making me hormonally wacky but I think I just need to find a way to be still be me while also being mommy and wife. I understand that I may never wear a pair of Louboutins everyday by choice again in my life, but my whole life doesn't have to revolve around my kids, and that doesn't make me a bad mom.

"...my whole life doesn't have to revolve around my kids, and that doesn't make me a bad mom. " Repeat, repeat, and repeat.

Thank you so much for sharing your lives with me. You have no idea how much of a difference you've made. Hubby is out of town for the week and we are heading off to Toronto next week so I am behind on replying to my emails. Sorry if it takes me a while to get back to you. xx

Life is a struggle

i try hard. really hard.

for as far as i can remember, i've always been a try-hard...even if that's not what i want. its like a compulsion. my total self worth is completely dependent on how hard i try. I have some great days. i feel invincible. I can do anything. And then there are those days speckled in between where i struggle to get out of bed in the morning. the day is excruciatingly long and unbearable. making simple decisions like what to cook for dinner or getting dressed can cause me severe anxiety. I sweat. I forget to eat. I don't sleep. Those are the days when I recluse, turn on the TV, and pray for Hubby to get home and take over. i am depressed. I can spend hours imagining what it would be like if i got hit by a truck and what life would be like for my kids if I wasn't around. If hubby so much as answers a question in a way i deem unacceptable i will start planning out my life without him, our divorce, where the kids and I will live. I don't really know when this depression started. Maybe its been here all along. I struggled during pregnancy and with terrible morning sickness. I hated being pregnant and was introverted and unhappy. then I had MM at 33 weeks who ate every 2 hours for months while I exclusively pumped all the while hating every moment of it. I struggled with being a new mom, with lack of sleep, and with thoughts of drowning my son. We then got pregnant again and I struggled with yet another 4 months of morning sickness and with pregnancy with a toddler. MMM was born at 30 weeks and that was a struggle that i thought I would never recover from. When we finally brought him home, he just cried and cried and I wanted to drop him on the floor. Then there was the guilt of how hard we worked to get him home and how ungrateful i was to feel this way. i shirked my responsibilities of taking care of him and hubby took over all the night feeds and basically everything that had to do with MMM until he was 5mths old and sleeping a good 8hrs every night. We've made it through the rough parts and MMM is now 10mths old and doing so well, we travel a lot as a family and things are great but i am still struggling and i don't know why. The only thing that keeps me together are my boys who love me so unconditionally it hurts. I need to get over this hump. I need to figure out what is wrong with me. I started taking depo-provera 6 months ago for my endometriosis. the more i read up on it, the more i am understanding why some people have called it depo-provera-hell. Mixed with postpartum depression or baby blues, it can lead down an ugly path of dark days and i am sad to say i have been there. I am there. maybe not today but on those days you won't see me running about confidently with my kids. I feel weak. like i should be doing better. i really should try harder to not be depressed. I just want to feel like myself again.

Australian Animals - Flashcard Set

On our recent trip to Sydney we rented a car and drove out to check out Featherdale Wildlife Park. It was awesome! We got to pet and feed Kangaroos and Wallabies, and watch Penguins, Bats and Tasmanian Devils eat! We even had a chance to see Kangaroos with their Joey inside their pouch! The MMs and I have created a set of Australian Animal Flashcards to remember all the fantastic animals we got to see. Check it out and download it here!

Each card prints as a 4"x6" photo



For personal non-commercial use only. Please do not use for any other purpose without obtaining permission from MilkMonster Laughs first. Thanks!

Mompreneur Ly-na Toye

Click here if the video doesn't load.

I met Ly-na when I was 17 and we quickly became friends. We hardly knew each other but I knew she was a keeper when I told her how much I loved her shoes and she lent them to me for a whole 6 months!! Who does that??? At 17 I thought she was amazing but I had no idea. Even though we lived in different provinces, I in Toronto and she in Montreal, we managed to stay in touch throughout high school and university. She pursued her love of fashion and eventually became a fashion designer, working for David Bitton and other multinational brands. While I studied aimlessly without a clue about what I really wanted to do with my life, Ly-na was doing exactly what she wanted. As a young girl, I wanted so much to be like her. So when she called me one day 5 years ago with a fabulous business idea, I immediately said yes and we started our fashion accessories adventure. And what an adventure it was! I won't go into details here but working with Ly-na, I found what a strong and remarkable woman she is. Her savvy business sense, perseverance, and ability to make things happen, I learned so much those 2 years we worked together. During that time, Ly-na got pregnant and had her first daughter, I became pregnant with MM and we decided to take a break. I closed down my business in Hong Kong and Ly-na was going to be a stay-at-home-mom.

That didn't last very long! As soon as her daughter was born, she was back to taking orders, manufacturing and shipping goods. I had to hand it to her, this woman has so much passion for what she does, she makes everything seem so easy even though I know that its not always that way. When she told me she was launching Angel Lily Toddler Hair Bows and Clips a month BEFORE her second daughter was due. In my head, I thought she was crazy, I mean who does that??? I'm sure I even told her she was nuts, but that is Ly-na and she never ceases to amaze and inspire me. With 2 children and a newly launched business, Ly-na has her meetings while her 3 year old is at school and works from her home office while her 1 year old is napping. She takes them along across Canada to tradeshows and still manages to cook and clean. I always wonder how she manages to do so much, while taking care of her 2 beautiful girls without any help, she definitely is the superwoman in my life.

9 Words that women use, and what they really mean

Thanks Ali for sharing this!

(1) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) "Thanks": A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome". That will bring on a "whatever").

(8) "Whatever": Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) "Don't worry about it, I got it": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Is Hong Kong really that safe?

Update - looks like the Ikea story is an urban legend after all. After talking to a few people who insisted the story sounded fishy and Gweipo's comment below that she had heard this story before, I did a little more digging around and found the same story written about an attempted kidnap in large supermarket chain Tesco, in Bangor,UK where a little girl was found in the washrooms with her head shaved. Apparently this urban myth was so widespread the company had to issue a statement to the press in an article titled 'Supermarket chain quashes Bangor child abduction rumour'. Sorry, didn't mean to scare you parents!! Like Irene said, Hong Kong maybe one of the safest cities in the world after all.

------------- Original Post -------------

I received the following email today (thanks Carla),

Ikea - Attempted Kidnapping

Just wanted to let you know that a friend of one of Nathan's* playgroup friends was involved in an attempted kidnapping at IKEA Causeway Bay a few weeks ago. Apparently, the boy was 3yrs old and ran ahead of his mother in IKEA. When she couldn't find him, she alerted security who then shut all the exits. They eventually found the boy in the IKEA bathrooms with his head shaved and clothes changed! They didn't find the people who did this to him. Scary times.

*boy's name changed for privacy

Living as an Expat an Hong Kong can sometimes feel akin to living in a bubble. Although a world class city, it's so small that there definitely is a small-town vibe when frequenting your area grocery store, cafe, and shops. It's hard not to feel like you have your own little city at your disposal, especially if you've been living here for over 6 years like I have. Before I had kids, I never questioned my own safety. I wouldn't give a seconds thought about walking home drunk through an alley in Central at 3am - something I would never ever do back home in Toronto where at university, the practice is for friends to drive each other to their cars so no one would have to walk through the campus alone at 10pm. I am ashamed to admit that even after having my MMs my relaxed attitude and feelings of safety have continued. My children being kidnapped, the sickening possibility that someone would snatch them has never once crossed my mind. I often let my 2 year old son run ahead of me in the malls and parks, or lag behind, and run around while I tend to MMM. As I sit here writing this I can picture MM happily running along, a huge grin on his beautiful face, I stop for a moment to look for something in my bag. I turn around because something doens't feel right and he's not there. The thought makes me want to vomit.

At first glance I thought the email was a hoax, it has to be, I mean Hong Kong is just so safe, just one of those forwards meant to freak you out but after a little research, I am realizing that this one may actually hold true. Blogger Lisa Tong apparently heard the same story from someone who knows the mother of the attempted kidnappee and goes on to talk about child trafficking in Hong Kong, apparently an infant boy is worth something like $56,700hkd and a girl at half that price in China (This price has gone up since 2004 and 2005). Babies from Hong Kong are thought to be healthier.

I feel stupid and naive. Whilst all this has been going on, I have been freakishly free and irresponsible with my own child. That stops today.

Valentines Day - Free Stuff!

Hubby is out for a work dinner tonight so I had some time. I haven't really felt like writing too much lately so I thought I'd spend the evening designing up some Valentines Day photo cards! Haha not like I don't already have a ton of stuff to do but this is just way more fun! If you like one of the designs, email me the photo you'd like (by Feb 11th) to use for your card and I'll email you back a .jpg file that you can send off in an email. Or if you're the more traditional type, have it printed up at your nearby photo development center and stick it in the mail. You could always add a hand written note on the back, just make sure you use a felt tipped marker and not a ballpoint pen so the writing doesn't show through the front of the photo.

xx MilkMonster Momma

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B


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E


All graphics and photos are property of MilkMonster Laughs Photography. Please don't use any of the images without getting permission from me first. I reserve the right to cancel this offer at any time. Thanks!

What does your mommy do?

Haha my sister emailed me this today and I thought it was pretty funny so I'm sharing with you all...



Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

MM Tip - Number your cupcakes

We didn't bake the cupcakes from scratch, rather we decided to go with the tried, tested and truly delicious Betty Crocker Super Moist Yellow cake mix. Frosting however, must be from scratch because it's just too easy and tastes way to good to miss out!

What you'll need:

• Cupcake recipe (or cake mix in a box)
• Fondant Icing Sugar
• Unsalted Butter
• Almond Extract
• Vanilla Extract
• Food Colouring
• Sugar sprinkles
• Sparkle Gel (Wilton)
• Spatula

Tips:

• Melt 1/3 cup butter and mix together with 3 1/2 cups of icing sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract and 1 teaspoon almond extract. The mixture should be thick and creamy. Add more sugar until desired consistency is achieved. (Makes enough to lightly frost 24 cupcakes or 12 fully frosted. )

• Add and mix in food colouring until desired colour is achieved

• Use the spatula to evenly spread the icing onto cooled cupcakes (otherwise the icing will melt off) and gently sprinkle sugar sprinkles onto each cupcake. Using the sparkle gel, write the numbers onto the cupcakes. Be sure to practice on extra cupcake first so you get the size and writing down.

More decorating ideas here.

MM Tip - Make your own gift tags

For MM's birthday we decided to make custom labels for each loot bag. The idea was to have a fun activity with MM so he could contribute to his birthday and make something special for his birthday guests but in the end it was Hubby and I making the tags after he went to sleep. Next year, I will make these way in advance and not the day before his birthday party!!

What you'll need:

• Clothing Tags (enough for each child attending the birthday party)
• Glue Stick
• Colourful Paper
• Ribbon or String (if the hang tag doesn't come with it's own)
• Exacto Knife
• Ruler
• Markers
• Ink Pad
• Little fingers

Tips:

• Collect hang tags from clothing throughout the year and save in a plastic bag. As I type this, I realize how strange it sounds that I actually do this, but nevertheless, I do. The sturdy cardboard ones work best.

• Measure and cut the colourful paper so it wraps around the hang tag, completely covering whatever logo and print was on there before. Layer as desired, matching or mismatching the colours for a fun handmade effect.

• The last layer should be white so you can draw your design and customize your gift tag.

• We bought and used "The Most Amazing Thumb Doodles Book" for our inspiration, but creative parents and older children can come up with their own designs!

My ramblings, resolutions, life

Hubby is away as usual. Actually I find it's only when he's away that I have any time to read or write. Since I'm home alone, I find my mind is twirling away, craving some decent conversation that I'm deprived of after a few days of just me and the boys. Of course hubby is too busy to talk and by the time he has a moment, it's way past an hour where I could hold a coherent conversation let alone make out a decent sentence. I remember the days when I could talk, literally for hours, sometimes 3-way, or 4-way, I had that many friends and that much to say. These days, it's a few minutes here and there, between demanding children and at playgroup. I don't talk to my friends like I used to. Probably because neither of my best friends have kids and who has the time now anyway? I suspect the real reason is because we don't have that much in common anymore. I can't help the fact that my life revolves around my kids and they can't help that theirs revolves around men. (Sel if you're reading this, I was really happy we talked yesterday, I miss those days when we would just talk about everything & nothing, hangout, and shop...) it's just how it is now. At some point in my life I will quit obsessing over the MMs and get back to who I am. My friends, my life, my career...I wonder when it happens and why, will I suddenly wake up one morning and realise I'm no longer center of the universe to the little-soon-to-be-grown-people or will I look in the mirror and miss me?

I dropped into Dymocks today after grabbing a burger from Gourmet Burger Union. I love the Southern Swine but hate the fact that you have to specify "well-done" or they will serve it to you medium - who eats ground beef bloody anyway??? Apparently people do. Steak I can understand but this is ground up bits of cow! I've digressed. I usually head straight toward the parenting section but today I decided to browse around. As I walked down the aisle I came across a book called "We Need to Talk About Kevin" and paused at the familiarity of the title. It's about a 15 year old boy who kills nine people, seven of which are his fellow high school students. His mother, who visits him in prison tells her story through letters she writes to her estranged husband...Oh that's right, as I skimmed through the book I realised the familiarity is because AW told me about this book a few months ago. She is one of those people that always has something interesting to tell you and just seems to know so much about everything. I remember when I was pregnant and she would bring her wonderful little boy over to hang out. She made me feel like I could be a mother. Ok, so I had to buy the book. Back when she told me about it, I was too busy being a new mom and reading parenting books, sharpening my expertise on how to be a mother. I had no time for fiction. Now that MM is 2, this book must appeal to me since I now realise everything I say and do, matters. Haha what better way not to %@#* up than to read about a mother who raised a killer? It's proving to be an interesting read.

I warn you, this will be a long post. I've got lots on my mind and since I have the time tonight, I'm going to take the opportunity to ramble on about some things...

We're taking MM out of school. I know, he's 2 so who cares??? right? well unfortunately I DO. I swore I would never be an education obsessed mom and I'm turning into one. I suppose I haven't gone completely nuts since next week will be his last week, but I am feeling the guilt-worry-did-I-make-a-mistake-about-our-decision? combo. It all started during the holidays, those damn kids grew! both of them!! and the grandparents were here and hubby was on holiday so I had so much help. The thing about physical strength and kids is that you need to be insanely strong to manage a squirming 27lbs toddler and even stronger if you have more than one kid. If you do it everyday, you don't notice the weight but take a break and you're dead. Basically, I am dead. After a month and a half of help i woke up one morning after a day alone with the MMs, feeling like I had been hit by a truck and the sad realization that carrying both boys will no longer be an option in the very very near future. the thought breaks my heart. Up until this point I have been struggling but managing and now everything has to change...Hubby has to travel more this year than he did last year, which would mean even more time alone and in the past where I have taken both boys to school, carrying one while I do the class with the other, it's just not going to work that way anymore. We talked and discussed, do we hire help? move? put MM in school alone? and came to the conclusion that yes, all those things will happen sometime this year but for the time being, taking a break from scheduled activities and staying together as a family would be our best option. We've decided to tag along on Hubby's business travel, this way he's around for breakfast and most dinners, I won't have to cook any meals, or carry the boys to school. When we're in HK, I'll arrange informal play dates. Hotels are insanely stroller friendly haha well of course in comparison to our 1st floor walk-up! MM will have a chance to run around, swim and develop his gross motor skills. He still falls down a lot and isn't sure footed. I'm suspecting it's because our 700sqft flat isn't offering enough room for physical activity, the kind of activity that a little boy needs, running, jumping, and rolling around. Looks like our original plan to live modestly isn't working out as well as we envisioned. Haha, we thought we'll live a simple life so our boys will grow up hardworking and won't take the good things in life for granted. Never did we imagine it would also mean less than healthy amounts of physical activity. I mean of course we take him to the park, he walks around when we go out, and runs around in the malls but I don't think the availability of space to play on a daily basis can be discounted. If it only takes you 20 steps to get to the playroom in one home and double that in another, on a daily basis, one child is definitely getting more movement. Children living in houses in Canada learn to manage a flight of stairs quicker than those who hardly ever get a chance to take on that challenge, for them, it's about mastering the environment and ours just isn't challenging enough anymore.

Which leads me to...the more challenging the environment for the boys, the more challenging life will be for me. I often get asked why I don't have a helper and I have a few explanations that I use often, we don't have enough space, we've decided together not to employ one, etc., etc., but the real reasons are because I like things simple, I'm a perfectionist, I like to be alone. If I do everything, then everything gets done my way. I hate managing other people and I need my space. I also am completely obsessed about my kids and suffer from trust issues. You'll be interested to know that MM has only ever been left alone in someone else's (other than his dada) care while he is awake, a handful of times. A few times with his grandparents, and with our dog walker (whom we've known for 4 years) when I was having MMM. The whole time I was in the hospital with MMM, that time spent separate from MM killed me and I could have cried every moment we were not together. MM, had his first ever away from mommy experience just last week (he's 8mths old) while the grandparents were here for 2hrs. I'm sure he relished in the freedom. I don;t know, maybe it's because I almost lost each of them, maybe it's because I am a freak, but that is the ugly truth. I can't leave my kids unless I know they are sleeping or I am forced to. (Sigh) I am hoping when MM goes to school alone, that I will be able to overcome this. I definitely suffer from separation anxiety. As such, I've been resisting a move to a larger flat simply because I don't think I can manage both boys and a big place without help. Did I also mention that I'm resistant to change? Yup, I am definitely a nut job.

Onto MMM, who has been seeing a wonderful chiropractor for the last four months, 3 times a week, with incredible improvements. I mean if you knew MMM and held him 4 months ago, you would be able to see and feel the difference in him. I am so grateful for his progress. Neuro won't tell me if he's normal or not, all they can say is "there's progress" and we only need to start to worry if his progress plateaus. Physio says he's improving but shows struggle and tightening when trying to do developmentally appropriate activities. He's definitely not 8mths old developmentally, I wouldn't be honest if I told you he acts like a 6mth old either...more like 5mths but he's very social and smiles in response to a smile and laughs and gurgles. He loves his brother. Hubby is sure he is all there mentally. I want to have as much faith as he has. We started taking MMM to see a cranial sacral therapist last week. Let's see how that goes.

So, I didn't make any new years resolutions this year. Otherwise this would also be my opportunity to put them in writing. Last year I made a resolution to be grateful and I think life gave me many opportunities to be grateful this year. I haven't spent much time thinking about the year to come, mostly because I am just surviving day to day. I've learned, as a mom with a potentially "abnormal" child, that today is the only day that counts and deserves my full attention. This past year was the first year I didn't look and plan into the future. I turned 30, this past December and my sister flew in from Toronto to surprise me. She was the best gift. After an emotional year all I wanted was to see her and I'm so thankful I had yet another opportunity to be grateful. I miss her, I miss how I am when I'm with her. Life is just so much better when the people you love are around. I made a wish on my birthday "to have more faith that things will work out in life." As I write this, I realize that it also serves as a resolution for the year to come.

Happy 2nd Birthday MM

Dear MM,

You turned 2 this week and keeping busy with birthday arrangements was all I could do to cope. Who knew it was going to hit me this hard! I spent the night before your birthday baking cupcakes. Dada doing the actual baking while I sobbed through the icing and decorating. The more I thought about it, the more I iced on the creamy orange homemade frosting and sprinkled the sparkly little bits of pastel sugar sprinkles. What started out as 'just a little' turned out to be full kick cupcakes, my baby was going to be 2 and since this would be your first ever cupcake that hadn't had the icing taken off (by your-always-have-your-best-interests-in-mind-mother), I decided to go all out. Damn it! My baby is turning 2 and if he wants cupcakes, then he's going to get them!

I had a moment, the realization that as the days pass, and little ones grow, that all those little moments that are collected along the way are all you really have to hold onto and cherish. How awful yet incredibly awesome is that? That life as you will remember it, is just a culmination of memorable or traumatic occurrences and the rest all fades away like it never happened...and so I've decided to write a birthday letter to my boys every year. So I won't forget the little things. Maybe I'll give it to them when they become parents or after I die so we can bond in a way that wouldn't otherwise be possible. Who knows what 50 year old me will be like...and just in case I'm awful, I hope these letters will be a glimpse into who I am now and why I become the person I will be.

Last year I wrote MM a little note, a note of things he had learned to do that year. I told him about his first laugh that happened in his sleep and the second when I burped while burping him. That his laugh was the most wonderful thing I had ever heard. I know all babies learn to clap, twinkle, and wave, but I just had no idea before I had my monsters just how awesome and proud it would make me feel. I can get choked up just thinking about it. His first word was 'Dada' and his second one was 'Ana' - that's what he called me for the first year of his life. I wrote how my first words to him was "[he] looks like a little monkey!" and that his dada told me "he's perfect", that meeting him was the most incredible moment in my life, that "I never knew what my heart looked like until I saw you."

It's been a whole year since I wrote that letter and how much has changed and how fast it has all gone by.

This year MM, you've learned to walk, run and say a million things. From the moment you wake up, until I put you to bed, you just can't get enough of life, 'dis called?!' you say and point to everything that surrounds you. "oh dis! oh dis!", "woah! wow!" never ceasing to amaze with all that is going on inside that head of yours. We always tell you that you're doing a good job but what we really mean is that we think you're brilliant. But we don't tell you that because we don't want what we say to taint your heart.

You've learned to throw a ball and more than a few tantrums, time-out, sing, clap, and dance to the beat. Put on a song with a good beat and you'll bop around with your arms in the air but offer up one that doesn't match your groove and you'll scrunch up your face and tell me with confidence that you "don nik it" and expect us to change it right away. You love the water, "UMbellas", and "mamamals" - particularly "EMNAfants", "BOORS", "KANGAroos", "zeBRAS", "tigers" and "BIraffes", but definitely "NO bows", "dinadoors", or "boofy dog". You are obsessed with your books, "bulldoziers" & "dump rucks", and will say "broom broom motorCYcle" & "BIG bus, tiny bus!" ...or car, or truck, whenever you see one coming. You love to eat "CHEEse" "BAsta", "NOOdows", "nasagna", and "boup".

You became a big brother this year and how I worried and fretted about how it would change your life but instead, you welcomed him into your life with so much love and affection. You kiss and hug him with an intensity that only a big brother could have for his little brother. I am so proud to be your mama.

There are so many little things I am missing in this letter...I could go on and on. It's not all the crazy, awful and wonderful things that you do but who you are in this very moment, that I want to hold onto forever. I love the way you call me "mama" and "mummieee", how you always "tank you dada" before you go to bed, and call out "mama nun no peas" when you wake up. Your love fills up the whole I've had in my heart for most of my life and I am so very grateful for you. The way you live your life with such innocence and passion gives me an appreciation for life that I never had before. I am really looking forward to the year to come, the new things you'll say and do, but mostly because I can't wait to meet the three year old you!

Happy Birthday baby boy. Mama loves you.

Christmas Morning

Me: "Don't open the door to the playroom until Grandma and Yeye get here ok?"
MM: "Ok..."
He stood there staring at the closed door, his eyes wide with curiosity. The playroom door is NEVER closed. I can see him struggling. Should he listen to me or will his curiosity get the better of him? With his bulldozers, one in each hand, he slowly leans toward the door and gently pushes it open. I expect him to run in and attack the mini tree and presents but he doesn't. Instead, he stands there in absolute awe.
MM: "Woah...WOW!"
I am caught off guard by his innocence, the sincerity in his voice melts my heart.
...Merry Christmas baby

Baby Carrots are BLEACHED!

So my mom emailed me today, it's one of those emails you get all the time warning you of some health scare that is usually false. I decided to look this one up and turns out, this one mommies is real. Baby carrots, the ones that are peeled and look like fingers, are made from malformed carrots that can't be sold as a whole carrot so they cut them down and sell them as baby carrots, prepackaged and ready to eat. I knew this already. What I didn't know is after these baby carrots are made, they are dipped in a water and chlorine solution to preserve them and prevent them from developing a chalky white dried out look which happens since the skin has been removed (Similarly, apples turn brown once cut). Chlorine!!! I don't know about you but I for sure don't want to be feeding my kids carrots that have been dipped in chlorine, especially when there are other options. Now I'm wondering, are all prepared fruits and vegetables treated in some way to make them last longer???

Better to buy and eat whole carrots that are sold with the skin on or go organic. (Thanks mom)

Here is some more info:

"Baby carrots are not as nutritious as full whole carrots, because a lot of the goodness in carrots is contained in the skin and just below it. This is removed in the baby carrot making process.

After harvesting, the carrots are washed in chlorinated water, just like our drinking water, and cleaned to remove dirt and mud. Some finished baby carrots are washed, or dipped, by a further chlorine solution to prevent white blushing once in the store. There is no evidence that this is harmful, but it is worth knowing about!. However organic growers use a citrus based non toxic solution called Citrox."

In case you were wondering, REAL baby carrots actually look like carrots and are sold with the skin on.

Happier Holiday Travel: 8 Ways to Minimize Jet Lag in Kids

Marrying medical expert advice with mom expert experience, here are Kate Rope's eight tips for happy, sleep-filled travels with your young child.

Girls Night Out

Ahhhh the days are just flying by!!! It's almost December and I'm still trying to get my head around November. How is it possible for time to move along this fast??? After being away for a week, Hubby came back on Thursday night. Even his trip seems shorter than usual this time. By Friday we were back into a family groove. I remember the days when the week would drag on and Friday seemed to take forever. These days, Fridays don't mean much for me except this past Friday was GIRLS NIGHT OUT and we decided to take a pole dancing class before we headed out for some live music at Soiree. It was fantastically fun mostly because we spent the class laughing at how ridiculous we all felt but we left with a new found respect for strippers and the art that they do with the poll. Don't knock it people, it is seriously hard work! I had a moment where I was so dizzy that I bumped my head onto the pole. Haha sexy!! I woke up Saturday morning with sore arms and a secret wish to become a pole dancer. As a previously competitive ballet dancer, I was in awe of the grace, flexibility and strength the instructor had when she demonstrated some super advanced moves upon request. She was so cool.

I haven't been able to write much. It's been busy busy with photography jobs every weekend, a moon-yut baby party, wedding, and baby shower. With Christmas parties and Hubby's upcoming trip to Toronto, grandparents and a best friend coming to visit from out of town, our upcoming family trip to Phuket, and birthday parties, the MilkMonster Family has a packed calendar and I seriously hope no one gets sick!! This is my favourite time of year. The only thing that's missing is some fluffy white snow.

It's taken me 4 days to write this post!!! At this rate, you're not going to be hearing from me until January!!

Keepaboo - it's what I've been up to while Hubby is away

So Hubby left on Sunday for Sydney and I'm on single parent duty again.

Physically, I am exhausted. Together, the MMs weigh over 1/3 of my weight and they're getting BIG - a good thing, but I don't think I'm going to be able to do this much longer...I lugged both kids to the Peak yesterday for our Monday informal Cantonese speaking playgroup, (the 10min hike uphill from the Peak Tram to Mount Austin Playground was just awful! Of course I declined a friend's offer to drive down and get me...why am I so damn stubborn sometimes???) after which we headed over to another friend's house for dinner (Thanks Jen!!!). Life would seriously suck if I didn't have these awesome friends in my life. I have been really lucky, the people I have met here in Hong Kong, on Geobaby and through this blog are the kindest, most generous and gracious people I have ever met. Mommies, you know who you are!!

Today, the 3 of us made our way to MM's school where another mom of 2 offered to feed MM and I lunch on Thursday. Actually she offered to pack me some meals but I had to decline her kind offer to help. We did however, accept the invitation for lunch and a playdate (Thanks Mel!!) Haha the boys and I must look terrible. We have MMM's physio tomorrow and school again on Thursday. A packed week. Usually Hubby works from home 2 mornings a week so him and I can alternate taking MM to his Montessori class. It's not so much the daily activities that are hard, since I would be doing them alone regardless, but it's the lack of a break at the end of the day. I am up at 630am with the dogs (I've been training Becky, our dog walker/babysitter how to manage the dogs - they usually jump all over her , bark, whine, and don't listen to her so it's been 3 months, and I've been up every morning training Becky and the dogs. I swear I would get rid of them if we and MM didn't love them so much. Tell me again why I have the tendency to own difficult breeds? Oh right, it's because I'm always looking for a challenge, and yes, this too has come around to bite me in the butt) MMM is up between 7 - 8am and there is no stopping until MMM goes to bed at 1030pm. It's the rushing around, preparing, cleaning, cooking, playing and just trying to make everything work that's stressful. This morning I was rummaging around at 7am looking for a shoe box for the Box of Hope Charity and while I hurriedly wrapped it as per the very specific instructions, MMM had woken up and after a few minutes of gurgling, had gone into full out wailing. I hate that crying always makes me break into a sweat. Hubby calls it "being chased by a tiger" feeling. Haha actually my sister coined that term after working with me. *sigh* Hopefully my kids won't turn out to be too much like me...

Every time Hubby is away I'm reminded of how grateful I should be of him. He is such a good father and I know I don't appreciate or acknowledge that nearly as often as I should. The breaks we get from each other are actually really good for our marriage. It lets us step away from the day-to-day and see just how much we both care and love our little family and I really miss him when he's gone.

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If you're like me and have a ton of digital photos and want to keep a diary of your child's milestones but haven't yet, check out Keepaboo. It's an online diary of photos, milestones, first words, and all things you want to remember and you can share with friends and family. I write this blog as a diary of my life and growth as a parent but Keepaboo is all about the MMs and I LOVE that. They grow up so fast...I wish I could press 'pause'.

Box of Hope - Children Helping Children Nov 17 - 21, 2008